Sweet Baby, Sour Cancer

My journey through cancer and pregnancy, twice.

So, I have two questions that everyone is asking me. 1. How did you find it and 2. Does chemo hurt the baby? I plan on tackling #2 in another post… Today, you get the juicy details of how my hubby ( va va voom) found the lump in my breast… Hot and steamy! Lol, I wish it was, but it was not like that. Actually, to be 100% honest with you, I always had Nate do my breast checks for lumps over the years. I figured he was the expert on them and how they feel so he would notice a difference before anyone else would and he did! Fact is most husbands/boyfriends are the ones who discover lumps. So, if there are any men reading this, here is a great excuse to go and check your ladies breast for lumps and do it monthly. You can thank me later.

I would guess last summer is when the lump was discovered. It wasn’t a distinct lump but more of an area that the tissue was way more dense than the rest of the surrounding tissue. I really thought nothing of it. Unfortunately, we had experienced 4 miscarriages over a short period of time, I chalked the lump up to breast changes from being pregnant and not being pregnant so many times so close together. Pregnancy does a number on the ta ta’s. Nate kind of kept on my case about the lump and I finally made an appointment in December for an ultrasound and mammogram. But life got in the way, it was the Christmas season, we went out of town for a wedding AND… I found out I was pregnant again! Cancer was the farthest thing in my mind. So I figure I would deal with this “density issue” later. I had to focus on my baby and making through the first trimester. And we did! In fact, Nate and I were really getting excited that this baby was thriving! We were about 15 weeks along, the longest I had ever made it. The both of us were allowing ourselves to get excited about the baby and relax a little bit about not miscarrying again.
So this brings us up to about 7 weeks ago. One morning, I was putting on my deodorant. I noticed when I raised my right arm my breast was dimpling in right above where the density/lump was. I immediately knew that this was not a good thing. I had that uneasy feeling. So I scheduled an ultrasound for the next week, I had a biopsy taken the next day after the ultrasound and found out two days later the cells were malignant. No one can prepare you for those three words ” You have cancer”. I can remember the phone conversation so clearly. The rush of thoughts and emotions: am I going to die, can I keep my baby, how can I be pregnant and have cancer, is this really happening to me right now?!! I could go on and on about the thoughts that rushed my head. And then I had to tell everyone. No one except Nate knew I was going for the test since again, I NEVER thought it would be cancer, I never mentioned it to anyone. It was actually quite comical, in a way, telling people. When we sat people down they thought that I was going to tell them that I was miscarrying again or that there was something wrong with the baby, whenever I said I have breast cancer and have to have surgery, nobody believed me. I got a few “is this a joke?” responses or “are you really serious?”. I don’t think I even believed it at times. And what an awkward thing to have to tell people. It was a strange conversation to have with friends… “Hey, how are you?” Me, ” I’m ok, I’m having a baby and oh, by the way I have cancer too”. It was mind bending during this time. Going through it and looking back I am beginning to see the serendipity of the situation although it still seems surreal. It was hard to be labeled as being so sick yet, I was feeling good. It was difficult not knowing what kind of outcome I was going to have. A friend told me the beginning is the worst part. I still have a long road ahead of me but if the beginning and getting the diagnosis is the worst part, I am glad its behind me.

8 thoughts on “The Diagnosis

  1. cyndimom says:

    Good morning Jodi,
    What a story you have to tell, it also points out our need to keep a good check on ourselves, something I for one can be lax about. So, thanks for the reminder.
    I pray that God’s plan is for you to be able to glorify him by telling others of your amazing journey to being cancer free.
    Blessings,
    Cyndi

    Like

  2. Carolyn says:

    Hi Jodi.
    I am so moved by your story. Thank you for your willingness to share it with others. I will be following you, and rejoicing as you come out on the other side! And congratulations on the baby!!
    ~ Carolyn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Carolyn, I can’t wait to share the story of when our little baby gets here and we can celebrate together!!! Thanks for following me and sending me encouragement!

      Like

  3. Kris says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, Jodi. Love and healing light to you, your baby and whole family!

    Like

    1. Thank you Kris! Thanks for reading my story and sending along such positive energy!

      Like

  4. maurice charves says:

    Dear Jodi, I just saw your story on Fox 25! First let me say how happy I am for you, your baby is beautiful!!!! I don’t know if you will remember me but I worked with you(went to your fabulous wedding) and I called you my friend!!! you are for sure a cancer vixen and I have no doubt you will win your fight. I will definitely follow your blog and please know you have my prayers and well wishes!!

    Like

    1. Please, Like I would forget you my friend! We laughed soooo hard some of those nights in the ICU!!! How are you? You know the latest in my life… I am doing good and enjoying every second of Cora! We just love her to death. I too have no doubt I will kick this cancers butt – just taking a little longer than I had planned.
      Thank you for the well wishes and prayer. So nice to hear from you💕.

      Like

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