Good news everybody… I am done with chemo! My oncologist said I don’t need anymore. Ever! And, made it through with about half my eyelashes- although I think they are falling out now- go figure, and a about a quarter of my eyebrows! Until about 2 weeks ago, no hair was to be found anywhere on my body except in Pangea form, sporadically placed on the globe of my head.
Chemo sucked! But it’s also has been my best friend for the last four months. I feel about chemo kind of like I felt about my parents when I was 14. I want to slam my bedroom door in its face and blame everything wrong in my life on it. When I know I can’t live with out it. It really does have my back and has saved my butt more than I want to admit.
Looking back I want to say “it wasn’t that bad” but maybe it was… I really don’t know. I’m not trying to be Mr. big tough guy here but there were times where I was confused if it was pregnacy symptoms or chemo problems. Nausea, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, constantly feel the need to tinkle, crampy, tired, irritable- just naming a few here. My oncologist told me numerous times that her pregnant ladies did exceptionally well on chemo, better than her regular breast cancer patients. What, being pregnant gave me some kind of superwoman power that reigned over chemo? I assumed she was just helping me with mind over matter and feeding some of my own holistic medicine, after all, who does exceptionally well on chemo therapy especially when pregnant? Wouldn’t this be the worst combo ever? It made sense to me to set up the infirmary in my bedroom and call for reinforcement. But, the good ol doc was right. I think I did do pretty well. Don’t get me wrong I had my moments where I needed to be cotteled and tucked into bed like a little girl. But, whether it was the pregnancy, all the prayers or just plain winning at chemo lottery- I did it and its over!
I would get my chemo on a Wednesday, lets call that day 1.
Day 1, I would go home with a little fog on my brain. I really enjoyed that fog- it was closest thing to having a drink so I welcomed the much needed escape of reality and enjoyed the silly, annebriated like state it left me in. As the fog lifted from my brain, a slight tiredness and over all weakness rolled in and took its place, pretty standard for days 2,3,4. Then came the chemo cocktail hangover -days 5,6,7,8 ugh! The days I would brace for until the side effects started to fizzle out after day 8. Most chemo works pretty cyclical- what happens during cycle 1 should repeat again for the following cycles and that held almost true for me.
For those of you that are reading this who may be starting chemo or are in a similar boat as me- everyone is different and has a variation of different side effects of treatment. I truly felt my side effects were more of the uncommon ones and will go through them in a seperate blog post as this post is starting to get a bit lengthy.
So now, my attention is on finishing growing my precious little bun in the oven here. And boy is it growing! This is me today at 36 weeks!
I am zeroing in on eating clean, quality foods to help my body heal and recover from being beaten down not just from the chemo but from the pregnacy as well. I can feel the residual that has been left behind from the chemo as it has taken its toll on my joints, muscles and mental health. My body which was once my temple that was exercised almost daily, fed quality foods, avoided medications and use to have plenty of energy has been borrowed from me for my baby and highjacked from me by the cancer. My baby is still sucking me dry – which I gladly give every ounce of myself for that little being to grow perfectly in there, but I am ready to take back what the cancer has stolen from me… I won’t mention the occasional pizza and bowl of ice cream here and there! But the ice cream I can assure you is organic with no HFCS and the pizza usually has tons of veggies on it. We will also ignore the french fries and watermelon combination that I just can’t seem to shake either😬!!! All of which seem to be a dietary requirement for me during this pregnancy. Everything in moderation right?!
Bottom line… That’s a wrap for chemo! Forever, completed, check, D-O-N-E!!! We are onto babyland!!! What I have been dreaming about for so long is finally coming true. We have just 4 hopefully short weeks to wait!
Who’s ready to have a baby?!!!!