My parents 50th wedding anniversary was a few weeks ago and we were able to sneak down to their house in Florida to celebrate with them after all! It was a quite the feat to get there, between trying to manage appointments and chemo in the special Desensitize unit, and trying to make sure Cora was all set and all the while praying I would feel well enough to travel. And… it all went well. Yes, finally!!! I sent Cora down with my brother ahead of time…I had my 12 hour infusion and hopped on a plane at 5:45am the next day. We had a great time celebrating with family and enjoying some warm sunshine on our faces. Of course we made a quick trip to have breakfast with a few princess, so Cora was thrilled! We arrived back home last week and are settling back down for the long haul of what’s ahead. It been an ok two weeks since I last wrote. If you’ve seen me on Facebook, then you know chemo has been going great in the new unit. I figured I would sit back and enjoy smooth coasting and try not to think about the obvious… That I have F-ing cancer again. So I guess I have been pretending I am really not sick. But that can only last for so long, before the truth catches up. Back to chemo, minor surgery for a port placement today (we are in the waiting room now editing this blog to pass the time) and my hair is starting to thin. So yeah, here we are.
50 years!!! Can you believe it? Doing anything for 50 years is hard, never mind staying married for that long! With the divorce rate being so high these days I think the amount of people celebrating 50 years of marriage is dwindling, almost extinct. A rarity, but when you see a couple who has been together that long how can you not think how magnificent that is. Like a bengal tiger or a sea turtle, you instantly know when you see one how special they are. Its been making me think a lot above love and relationships. Like all couples, my ‘rents have experienced the gamut of challenges that arise in marriage. Might even be fair to say they have experienced more than the average couple since they have been together for so long. They have seen each other through richer and poorer, sickness and health and definitely for better or for worse and a whole lot more shit that isn’t stated in marriage vows, but gets thrown at you anyway. Yet here they stand, stronger than ever 50 years later. So cheers to you Mom and Dad for 50 years! Thank you for teaching us kids to never give up on love, even when things got too hard, you taught us that’s when we fight harder. You taught us that no marriage, nor one’s marriage partner is perfect. In fact we pretty much will fail each other at some point in marriage and through God’s grace we extend love and forgiveness and by doing so will only make the marriage stronger. You taught us how to have fun with one another and enjoy life together and always eat good food!!!!
How lucky am I to have such an example to learn from. I know my parents are far from perfect but have been a great example for me to learn from, an example for Nate and I to learn from.
The truth is, marriage is work. Hard work. But it’s wonderfully hard work. Both of us have felt more pain than we ever knew was possible, and more deep joy than we ever realized existed. We love more than we have ever loved anyone or anything (except God, of course).
Our love has grown richer, deeper and better over time, as we face challenges (cancer), kids, loss and learn from mistakes. Through it all, Christ has kept us together and brought us a more wonderfully fulfilling relationship than either of us knew was possible. On the other side of deep pain is deep joy. You’ve just got to make it there and know you can’t have one with out the other.
It’s so wonderful that we get to pass this life knowledge onto Cora and Baby K. And like I said no one is perfect… nobody’s life is as great as they make it out to be on Instagram. Shit happens man… everyday that shit flinging monkey is at it. And know this, it’s ok to be poor, it’s ok to be the worst partner at times, it’s ok to be sick, or even weak. It’s just like what Forrest Gump says “it happens.” “What? Shit!?”. “Sometimes.”
It’s how you get through it that makes you who you are at 50 years and counting. So thanks Mom and Dad, Happy 50th Anniversary. I pray I get to see 50 years… that would put me at 77 years old … I think I can make it.
We get to check in on baby K Thursday via ultrasound after chemo… we already know what we are having but will tell everyone this Thursday. What do you think it is??? Boy or girl? If you know already don’t spoil it.