This is chemo…

“You look so good”, “You would never know how sick you are”, “WOW! Looking great Jodi”….. Guess I am looking good these days. Must be the chemo glow on my face from the steroids and toxic chemicals in my body making it light up along with the pregnancy glow!

Truth of the matter is, most of the time I have been feeling good. Things have definitely calmed down after that rocky start. I have my moments of nausea but they are relieved by medications and then I can resume my day.

Chemo brain is a real thing though… there are no meds for that. So when I am staring at you and you are talking to me and I don’t respond… it’s the chemo brain. When I say I will call you or text you back and I don’t… chemo brain. When I say something that makes no sense…chemo brain. We just have to deal with that side effect, ribbit.

Yes! I somehow still have hair. After the way it fell out last time, I wasn’t expecting it to still be hanging around. Surprise to me, surprise to the doctors as well. They say its the pregnancy hormones helping me out in this category. It is falling out… but super slow. I’m not holding my breath… I still have about 10 more treatments to go. I pray it stays but I’m preparing for what I think is the inevitable. Been here before. Done that. Being able to keep my hair is all too good to be true.

Yes, I. AM. TIRED! My biggest complaint. Thank goodness Coras still naps because we cuddle and nap together everyday. Sometimes I get a few hours in ahead of her and then she comes and joins me for a few more hours.

So overall I am doing ok. Compared to some others who get chemo I am lucky. The docs told me before and said it again. “Pregnant woman do better on chemo than most other people”. Guess it really is true. Starting to have a few more side effects this week that are new. Like my hands feel like they belong to someone else. It is a strange sensation. They are a little floppy and have low muscle tone. Hopefully that will resolve, but sad to say, it probably will get worse. Most common side effect of the chemo drug I am getting is neuropathy in the hands and feet and apparently this is just the beginning. I see lots of dropped coffee mugs and smashed plates. I can’t imagine having floppy, useless hands for 10 more weeks. Let’s just hope I can hold that sweet baby boy of mine when he gets here and I don’t drop him, or even worse, a “hot water burn baby” incident because of my floppy, numb paws that can’t feel anything. Just kidding!

This is Chemo. This is cancer. You get up everyday and do what you have to do. My numb thumbs and fingers type my blog, here is no choice in the matter. Life continues on and so must I.

#7!

Let’s do it again, Let’s talk about sex baby!

Sex, yeah baby! But I am not talking about that kind of sex. The sex of the baby!!! So what are we having???? The big question. Nate and I are convinced its a girl. About everyone we talk to is split 50/50 down the line on girl/boy. And Cora… well Cora is only happy with a girl to play princesses with, dress up with and sprinkle in sparkles from head to toe. Will she get what she wants?

Chemo went well today. The port worked amazing! It was super easy to access and use. I didn’t have any reaction to my 8 hour infusion. WIN!!! So, that is 5 down total (4 1/2 if you count the second one that went horrible) and about 12 more to go. Power play: I still somehow have hair. It is SLOOOWLY starting to fall out. So we will see how that goes over the next week. I feel like I may not lose all of it it but then I think who am I kidding? I feel like I am leaving my shedding hair remnants behind where ever I go. To me its a subtle reminder, cancer is saying ‘don’t forget… I know you still look good, but you are really sick, I could kill you…don’t forget about me’.

Don’t worry cancer, you haven’t been forgotten about, but you can still F-off. I may have you but you certainly don’t have me, bitch.

Now, onto the good stuff, the meat and potatoes, the nitty gritty, the low down, the tea, the biscuits and gravy, the down and dirty… the sex of the baby. Baby K is measuring perfectly at 23 weeks and 5 days. Estimated due date is August 23. I will deliver by C-section again and we’re unsure exactly when that will be. The plan is to give chemo as long as possible right up to when my OB/GYN says OK… it’s baby time and as long as my body tolerates the weekly chemical burn left behind. It could be anywhere from 32-38 weeks. We also discovered today my gestational diabetes is back… fun. And, I have placenta previa – even more fun. No restrictions as of now for the placenta previa, but it’s something to pray about- that it corrects itself or causes no issues for me. If it does that means possible bed rest, early delivery and worst case severe bleeding (that already happened the first time with Cora. Almost lost little Jodi). But we are not going there right now. Everything is A-OK via my MD and until something changes we are all in agreement that’s how I will stay. A-OK!

Oh, And….. Drum roll….. I can’t believe it……

We are…….

We are having………..

We are having a ……..

…………..

……………

A BOY!!!!!

We are thrilled. So happy to have a little boy join us. Nate and myself are thrilled. Happy, happy, happy. I will post Cora’s response tomorrow. I am heading to bed.

I asked if I could have one more baby after him……

Joking…. it was a joke! I am done after this one. Hopefully (wink, wink).

Chemo #4 with the port!
Baby Boy K
3-D version of his face!