Chemo #10. Can you believe we have been doing this for 10 weeks????!!!! Time is flying by and this is one step closer to putting all this behind me (hopefully forever). When this first started 2+ months ago, even today seemed so far away and OMG, soooo overwhelming. I couldn’t even think about the amount of hours that was ahead of us or imagine how we would get there. I would break down and just sob to Nate and ask “How are we going to do this again?”. I would tell him “I don’t have it in me to go through this again”. We would talk late at night when he got home from work, holding each other, we felt so grateful that we did in fact make it through another day, and another day and another day and another day… it’s been 85 days since I woke up that morning, went in to see my OB for a simple complaint that turned into a day of multiple tests and ultimately a diagnosis of a breast cancer recurrence. 85 days of uncertainty. 85 days of concern. 85 sleepless nights and 85 days dealing with a cancer monkey flinging all sorts of shit at us… AND HERE WE ARE! WE ARE STILL STANDING PEOPLE! #Killefferstrong. And although we have waaay more than 85 days ahead of us, I will promise all of you… We will be standing then too. Might be a little beat up, a little weathered but we will make it through. I know deep down in my heart that is true even though I I’m choking on a frog 🐸 in my throat and some doubt in my fingers when I type these words. But failure isn’t an option. Not here, not now.
We love Florida! I think there was a year (long time ago) when flights were really, really cheap. Like under $100 round trip cheap. Totally unheard of today and we absolutely went to Florida like 5 times that year. I can assure you we were experiencing terrible New England weather and just couldn’t help escaping to our piece of paradise in the sun with palm trees surrounding us.
When you think of Florida besides the obvious (our friend Mickey Mouse) what else comes to mind when thinking warm weather, sun, tropical breezes…. I think of palm trees!!!!! Oh I love the palm trees. I know when I see them there is usually lots of sun in the sky, a tropical drink nearby, with fresh fruit spilling over the side and a cute little paper umbrella. You know you love them too! I start to leisurely sip (sip, wink wink) and look for some water to dip my toes in. It’s a symbol it is time to sit back and relax. Jimmy Buffet songs are playing in my head right now. I grab a towel for the chair, lay back and watch those long green leaves sway as I lay with warm sun on my face and defrost from the New England chill.
I stole this from another cancer fighting momma I know who is in remission from a glioma aka brain cancer. I saw her post on FB and had to copy and share as it pertains to the above…. take the time to read-
I know not all of us are religious, but I wanted to share ~ this is a great message for all of us. Read through and replace God with any word that has meaning to you if you need to!
Have a great day!
Nothing Can Hold You Back
Have you ever seen a palm tree in the midst of a great storm? Unlike most other trees, the palm tree is able to bend so it will not break. A certain kind of palm can bend over until the top is almost touching the ground, but when the wind finally stops, it bounces right back up. What’s interesting is that while that palm tree is bent over under the pressure of the damaging winds, it’s being pushed and stretched, strengthening the root system and giving it new opportunities for growth.
The reason God said we’d flourish like a palm tree is because He knew there would be difficult times. He knew things would come against us to try to steal our joy and victory. God said, “You’re going to be like a palm tree because after the storms of life blow, you’re going to be stronger, healthier, wiser, better off, and ready for new growth.” God never brings you out the same. He makes the enemy pay for bringing the times of darkness and trouble. What’s meant for your harm He’s going to use to your advantage. It’s not going to break you; it’s going to strengthen you. You’re not only going to still be standing; you’re going to be standing stronger. #Killefferstrong #wearestillstanding