C-ya CPAP!

No more CPAP for Calvin! He is breathing all on his own now. Praise God! Prayers next that he will have good eating skills and able to gain weight. Boys tend to be lazy… drink a little and fall asleep. He has lost some weight since birth, which is totally normal. But it’s time now his growth curve starts to trend up. So he needs to gain some weight and eat solely from a bottle before he can come home.

I would write more but I don’t have the energy. And, it’s too upsetting to talk about while I am home now and Calvin is still in the hospital away from his mother and family.

Baby Calvin…

Calvin is doing much better today… he has been extubated and only requires CPAP to help him breathe. He is much more awake now. His beautiful little eyes were open, staring at us this AM. Don’t ever underestimate the power of prayer. This little guy has turned the corner and is on his way to heading home with us before we know it!

For me, I am still here in the hospital too. With out getting into a whole bunch of woman stuff, I will say this; it’s a good thing that I am having my babies in this century with great medical care. Otherwise, I would have been one those poor women that died during child birth. I guess my body was just not made or prepared to deliver babies. Even in a well controlled, state of the art, top medical facility in the USA, there were complications with Cora and Calvin that label me with 2 “traumatic births”.

Honestly, it’s all behind me and have 2 wonderful children now, to pour my heart and soul into. I’m feeling stronger everyday. I know the last 3 weeks were insane with an abrupt stop to chemo, scheduled surgery, an unexpected delivery with more surgery and a new NICU baby…however we have accomplished quite a bit which means the end to this is even closer than before. That’s a blessing I will take.

Lastly, I just want to say how thankful, grateful and truly humbled Nathan and myself feel. EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has rallied behind us and supported us in ways we never expected; from the nurses, doctors, friends, family, neighbors, or complete strangers… With good there is evil and with light there is darkness… yes, we are in the middle of some pretty serious stuff right now, but that too comes with an opposite… an unimaginable experience of love and caring that can only be experienced in this kind of tragic setting. In other words the dark times are being alleviated by the incredible generosity and compassion that we are feeling from others; you have brought hope and light to our experience.

Meet Calvin Jacob Killeffer

Our little guy Calvin had to be intubated and is now on a ventilator to help him breathe. He still has to learn how to do this on his own. A bit of a step back but he isn’t working so hard to breathe and appears more comfortable. It’s so hard to see him this way. We aren’t even on the same floor. 😪. It doesn’t look like he will come home with us this weekend or anytime soon after.

Look at Nate’s hand … it’s bigger than his head! He may be tiny but definitely the perfect Walorz/Killeffer combination- he is a strong 💪🏻 little, tough guy.

Arrival.

Well yesterday at 8am, my water decided to give way. Not sure why… maybe from surgery last week or maybe from the chemo, maybe it was just crappy luck Who knows… We were both equally very surprised this this was happening and it was happening fast. We had many talks prior about the famous birthing plan but none of them included this scenario.

So we went into Boston to the Brigham and Woman’s hospital and had a baby. He was born last night at 9:22pm, 5 lbs 14oz, 19 inches long. Baby K needs little help breathing on his own so he is hooked to c-pap machine and he has to stay in the NICU. I haven’t been able to hold him yet. Hopefully today or tomorrow. He is sooo cute and adorable. We absolutely love him and know he made our family complete.

Please welcome Calvin Jacob Killeffer. Better pics to follow…